Duelist General: Synopsis

The Duelist General is appointed by the President of the United States with the advice and consent of The United States Senate for a 4-year term of office, his term beginning on the second Monday in March, to coincide with the appointment of Andrew Jackson, the nation’s first Duelist General. In making the appointment, the President consults with former surviving appointees, the current Duelist General, and distinguished presidents of major, nationally-recognized, dueling organizations.

In carrying out his responsibilities, the Duelist General reports to the Secretary of State, regarding international challenges to the nation’s honor, and the White House Chief of Staff regarding domestic affronts to the person of the President.

The Second Amendment of the Constitution expressly forbids the President from personally seeking redress in matters of personal or national honor. In 1789, Congress established the office of National Master of the Sword and National Master of the Pistol—the official title of the Duelist General—to defend the honor of the President and to seek satisfaction for international affronts to the national honor. In addition to his duelist responsibilities, the holder of the office was charged with providing protection for the person of the President from acts of assassination and accident. The Presidential Guard Act of 1862 omitted the executive protection duties of the office with the creation of the ceremonial and operational Presidential Guard Units (The 1st and 2nd Special U.S. Infantry Regiments, respectively, currently stationed at Fort Meade, Maryland).

The Duelist General holds the rank of Lieutenant General in the Presidential Guard, and currently receives a base salary of 111834.00 per annum, plus an expense account (both taxable), funds for travel and entertainment (tax free), and retirement benefits. The Duelist’s salary is set by Congress and is reviewed every two years. The Duelist has a permanent staff of twenty administrative workers and is allowed access to a platoon of Presidential Guardsmen for training purposes. This training is secret, and takes place in the White House gymnasium.

The minimum requirements for appointment as Duelist General are:
 A Doctorate of Martial Arts degree (MAD) from an accredited gymnasium
 At least one year of postgraduate martial arts training
 Thirty years of age
 Licensure to practice dueling in 1 of the 50 states
 International licensure to practice dueling
 A natural born citizen who has resided within the United States for the past fourteen years

Famous holders of the office include:
Andrew Jackson
First Duelist General and later elected to presidency of the United States

Jean Lafitte
Defeated British commander Cochrane at Battle of New Orleans in single combat.

Pierre Gustave Toussaint Beauregard
One-armed duelist for CSA president Jefferson Davis. Fought four inconclusive duels with Lincoln duelist G.A. Custer

Eddie Richenbacker
Defeated Kaiser Wilhelm's duelist, Herman Goering, in Bern, Switzerland. Second American duelist to end a war by single combat.

George S. Patton
Defeated by Japanese duelist, Morehei Ueishiba, in Kingston, Jamaica causing US to cede Hawaiian Islands to Japan. Resigns in disgrace and founds Patton's Leather Shoes chain.

Francis I. Gabreski
Defeats German champion, Max Schmeling, in Oslo, Norway, after Hitler's repeated insults directed at President Roosevelt. Gabreski's almost immediate murder by Nazi fanatics draws the US into Second World War.

Virgil I. Grissom
Grissom's over-confident choice of the saber over his strong suit, the broadsword, costs him his life in Berlin, Germany. Yuri Gagarin's win guarantees the placement of Russian ICBMs in Cuba.

Elvis Presley
Controversial and flamboyant duelist brings scandal to the office due to his use of performance-enhancing drugs.

Muhammad Ali
First African American Duelist General. He steps down from the position during the Viet Nam War for political reasons.

Bruce Lee
First Asian American Duelist General. His many victories cemented American pre-eminence in East Asia.

G. Gordon Liddy
Commits public suicide on national television following the impeachment of President Richard Nixon.

Cynthia Rothrock
First woman Duelist General. Ronald Reagan's "Pocket Nukette". Helps bring about the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Mike Tyson
Defeats Iraqi champion Abu Nidal in epic four hour empty hands battle in Istanbul, Turkey. Later resigns in disgrace after being convicted of rape of beauty contestant.

Michael Jordan
Fights an unpresidented five hundred combats in defence of President William J. Clinton from domestic challengers.

William J. Sonnier
Current Duelist General.