jonathan powers

Disaster

1 cafe poet
1 pen
1 coffee stained napkin
2 quarts wine
3 cups of coffee
3 borowed cigarettes
1 year graduate level poetry class
1 Red Che Geuvera T-shirt
2 female undergraduate English Literature students (must be younger than poet)

Marinate poet in graduate level class. After one year wrap poet in red Tshirt and soak in wine for 4 hours. Present poet in chair outside of cafe. Poet should spontaneously put pen to napkin. Glaze with coffee until breath stinks. Females will settle around edge of poet after 10 minutes. Garnish with borrowed cigarettes. Serve napkin to provincial college journal.

WARNING
Marination must not exceed one class.

Iceburg Lettuce flambe

Vegan dessert served hot in the frigid Himalayan villages of Nepal.

Garrison Keillor sized head of iceburg lettuce
16 oz. of Phembu's finest bucolic tongba (190 proof)
Spark of inspiration
half pound of sliced glacier ice

Sepearate leaves from head. Toss ingredients. Keep spark in seperate container until mix settles, apply spark. Drench in dressing.
(Dressing -- a thick paste of felt in sweetened condensed Yeti milk and watered down khir pudding.)

Mokrachino Latte

2 cups of steamed milk and foam
4 ounces moist boiled okra
1 squirt Ghiardelli chocolate
2 esspresso shots
pinch powdered garlic


squeeze moist okra goo into espresso, squirt in chocolate, stir. Pour in milk, let froth settle on top. Serve hot.

Cappuccino Dante

2 cups plasma hot milk
2 espresso shots
ceramic crucible

pressurize milk to 3000 psi, warm to 2500 F in "cohesive zone" of smelting blast furnace. remove. pour into ceramic crucible. serve hot.

Coke Soda

1 pound coke (from blast furnace)
3 cups carbinated water (from Vaudeville comedian's seltzer bottle)

place coke on victim's face. douse with carbinated water until audience chuckles.

Popcorn Butter cookies

Sediment from UltraSize buttered popcorn Century 16 Theater
3 lbs Nacho crumbs Mercado 20 Cinema
4 cups curdling half-and-half from Starbuck's condiment counter Homestead & Wolfe, Cupertino, CA 95014
120 Turbanado sugar packets Red Rock Coffee Shop, Castro St., Mountain View, CA

mix all ingredients. tablespoon onto cookie sheets. Bake at 500 for 18 minutes. Let cool for 6 hours. Makes 1 gross.